2 Steps forward, 1 Step back

Life was starting to feel better. Headaches were clearing, clarity was returning and I was ready to move on – or so I thought.

My wife took my oldest to school, like she does everyday. That means my youngest was left with me again, isn’t she cute?!

I tried to get her to smile, we’re working on it, haha.

She’s an absolute ball of energy. I hate to keep her cooped up inside all day, but there’s not much I’m physically able to do. I take my daily stroll to the mailbox (all of 200m from my front door), but the majority of the time is spent getting her ready. Well today I felt good, my wife even came. We had a goal of walking further and I wanted to do it.

About 500m into the walk, my headaches begun. Why? It’s been almost 7 weeks. Surely I can do something at this point? So I retreated home while they continued on. My head hurt for the remainder of the day. The night was worse.

I had trouble falling asleep, staying awake until almost 0200 hours. I woke several times with a pounding headache, the codeine the doctor gave me wasn’t helping at all. I didn’t even sleep in much, waking at maybe 0900 hours? Oh, the sleeping pills the doctor gave me aren’t doing squat, literally nothing. They don’t make me tired. They don’t keep me asleep, and they certainly haven’t helped put me to sleep.

I woke up with a headache and it never really went away, all day. We also had a guest over for dinner, which proved to be way too much for me. I retreated to the living room and preceded to watch ‘Saving Private Ryan,’ which by the way, is now on Netflix!

I also struggled to help put the kiddos to bed tonight. I’m usually able to read a book to one of them, but that proved too much. I got a hug and a kiss from each and said goodnight.

On the one hand, I’m certainly seeing them a lot more! On the other hand, the quality of time spent with them is significantly less.

So here I am again, it’s now 0015 hours and I’m wide awake. Actually, my eyes hurt I’m so tired, but I’ve been tossing and turning in my bed so much that I just gave up.

I have a doctor’s appointment this coming Tuesday, which is good, and pointless at the same time. The doctor can’t do anything for me, and I know she won’t let me go back to work either, not that I’m fit to go anyway. Instead, I’ll be back sent back home with another note saying more home time.

I’m sure one day I’ll look back on this whole experience and reminisce about all the family time I had. Unfortunately, my head hurts so much right now that it’s somewhat hard to appreciate. Although, I get lost in her eyes everyday – and that helps, a lot!

– Mr Average


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