Since my concussion on January 3, I knew a few things were going to happen: all exercise would stop, I would be eating like garbage and I’d be getting fat. Those were just given, duh. What a terrible attitude, haha. At least I can laugh at myself.
About a week into this I looked at myself in the mirror, I’d had enough (I’ll spare you the picture). I decided that I could at least control what I ate, so I figured why not start meal planning again.
I weighed myself every single morning. Yup, bad idea. In fact, I tell everyone who is trying to lose weight that it’s the worst thing to do. Oh well, I’m an idiot, let’s continue.
I had a meal plan that I used about a year ago with great results, so I thought I’d keep going with that, just modify the calorie intake. Just to get an idea of what I was eating:
-Carbs (oatmeal, quinoa, yams, brown rice)
-Fruits (apples, grapefruit, blueberries, raspberries, dried apricot)
-Vegetables (spinach, avocado, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, snow peas, asparagus, broccoli, bell peppers, kale, mushrooms, green beans, etc.)
-Protein (whey, chicken, salmon, lean ground turkey, black beans, eggs)
-Nuts (cashews mostly, peanut butter)
-Copious amounts of water!
-Yogurt, cottage cheese
That was more or less the list I’d work with. However, avocado, brussel sprouts, asparagus and broccoli are all disgusting so those are out. I know, I’m like a 5 year old. Lucky for me I’m an adult and no one can tell me what to eat.
I sat down and got started making myself a plan. No need to meal prep, since I’d be at home indefinitely – at least I had that going for me! Another huge advantage was I’d always be around a toilet! Yeah I know gross, but if you’ve ever been around anyone who was into meal prepping, you’ll understand the volume of liquids they consume!
I finally finished my plan, printed it out (having things visual helps by the way), and stuck it on my fridge. Then I went to work. Meals every two hours. Oh, I also had something else that was very helpful, my memory sucked! I’d often skip meals because I’d forget. I know, not good, but it was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
So, like I said earlier, I weighed myself everyday. Three weeks later I was down 10 lbs! I even surprised myself. It was the first time I’d been below 180 lbs in almost two years! I was on top of the world!
I went downstairs to make breakfast, but not before I had to navigate through the land mines my kiddos had everywhere. Have you ever seen that video where a few guys try running on a treadmill while the other pours lego on it?
I successfully made it downstairs where my wife was half asleep on the couch, and my youngest wearing only underwear was standing in front of the TV. I said my obligatory “good morning,” before heading into the kitchen. What I didn’t know, even though I should have known, was my daughter had already reached mach 3 and was headed straight for me. She’s at that perfect height, you know the one, where she crashes into you, just hard enough to make you keel over in absolute pain (maybe that’s just a guy thing). I dodged it this morning, praise the good Lord! I did however, put off my breakfast for a bit longer to get a hug from her.
She is, without a doubt, the best hugger in the world – no exaggeration. It’s like God make her to fit into my arms. What’s even better, she loves giving hugs and snuggles, everything to make a father happy!
Back to my food. I drank a glass of water, made three eggs and ate an apple, because we had no oranges or grapefruits. Two hours later I had a protein shake and a glass of water. Two hours later another glass of water, a bowl of cherry tomatoes, a stick of cheese and some hummus with whole grain crackers. On fire right? This is where the wheels fell off a bit.
We had pizza for dinner. I was in charge of ordering. I chose Pizza hut. I purchased two medium chicken cesars, with stuffed crust of course. When my oldest got home from school I told her about the stuffed crust. She was floored, I wish you could have seen the look on her face. I also told her I ordered it because the kids never ate their crust, part of that was true (the bit about them not eating their crust, I really just wanted it myself).
I ate way more than I should have, or is there a limit when you eat pizza? Yeah, there’s no limit. I took a break and ate some more later, because why not? I chased it down with a protein shake (this made me feel better about myself, although I don’t know why), candy and then watched an episode of Sherlock Holmes. I felt like a piece of garbage.
However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from meal planning, it’s this: cheat meals are just as important, if not more so, than sticking to your carefully laid out plan. It helps keep sanity, cures that sweet tooth and reminds you of why you’re doing it in the first place: to not be garbage!
– Mr Average